|You want.||You want.|
|We need.||I want.|
|It's your decision.||The correct decision should be obvious by now.|
|Do what you want.||You'll pay for this later.|
|We need to talk.||I need to complain.|
|Sure, go ahead.||I don't want you to.|
|I'm not upset.||Of course I'm upset, you moron!|
|You're...so manly.||You need a shave and you sweat a lot.|
|You're certainly attentive tonight.||Is sex all you ever think about?|
|I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!||I'm on my period.|
|Be romantic, turn out the lights.||I have flabby thighs.|
|This kitchen is so inconvenient.||I want a new house.|
|I want new curtains.||and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper...|
|I need wedding shoes.||The other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.|
|Hang the picture there.||NO, I mean hang it there!|
|I heard a noise.||I noticed you were almost asleep.|
|Do you love me?||I'm going to ask for something expensive.|
|How much do you love me?||I did something today you're really not going to like.|
|I'll be ready in a minute.||Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.|
|Is my butt fat?||Tell me I'm beautiful!|
|You have to learn to communicate.||Just agree with me.|
|Are you listening to me!?||Too late, you're dead.|
|I'm sorry.||You'll be sorry.|
|Do you like this recipe?||It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.|
|Was that the baby?||Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep?|
|I'm not yelling!||Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.|
|All we're going to buy is a soap dish.||It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?|
I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired. = I'm tired.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you.
What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?
I love you. = Let's have sex now.
I love you, too. = Okay, I said it ... we'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before.
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look any different!
Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) I like that one better. = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together. = I am gay.
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