Walt-O-Matic

Coastal Flats has an enjoyable sense of humor.

I walked up to the hostess desk, and they recognized me immediately. Jokingly, I was asked, “What name shall we put you under as, Walt?”

I attempted to make up a name that would require horrific use of Unicode, if not make it look like a terrorist convention was occurring.

I got a smile as they handed me the pager.

But as I passed by their computer, I noticed they planned to turn the joke at my expense. Here’s how I was paged…. and, boy, did the staffer who seated us look confused.

The $899 price is right.

But it’s the price for a 100 units, not one.

Now, think about that.

A box of 100 leg razors. That’s 10 across by 10 down.

It will set you back nearly a thousand dollars at the check out counter.

A thousand dollars.

For 100 razors.

Think of something that costs a grand, a box of razors next to it.

Me, I’m thinking a fully loaded Mac Mini.

Got to hand it to Costal Flats in Tysons Corner, VA. They certainly have a sense of humor when it comes to their Emergency Exit.

Sometimes I question the self-centered behavior that frequents Ashburn parking lots.

Seems that on I-81 one of the rest areas has provided some lame entertainment. Pee on the Bee.

Unretouched photo of a Rest Area on I-81 South.

I’ve heard of water conservation before. But how are you supposed to flush this thing? There’s not even a visible sensor.

Unretouched photo from McDonald’s in Salem, VA

October 31st, 2007 – the intersection of Ashburn Village Blvd. and Shell Horn Road. My buddy Chris and I are driving, and a van races up next to us in the left turn lane.

I start laughing out loud so hard I almost wet myself while reaching for the camera.

I don’t know what was funnier, the fact that she was totally oblivious to her surroundings until the very last minute and we had to kindly let her over the solid white line into our lane or the idiots in VDOT who put a stop sign in the middle of a left-hand turn lane.

I swear, this picture is not doctored!

So I’m at O’Faolain’s Irish Pub in Sterling, VA and have to hit the little boys room.

The urinals had to been designed by the Thornton Burgess Toiletry Company.

The Baby Bear urinal was at my ankles. The Moma Bear urinal was where you’d expect it. And the Papa Bear urinal was at my chest. Seriously.

Take a look at where would “it” would have to be and use the standard height of a stall’s handle as a reference point.

I guess Andre the Giant was Irish.

Went to lunch at the new Wings’N'Things off Rt. 606. Guess what they had on the menu?

A Platter of 300 Buffalo Wings. And they were serious.

I can only eat six before I’m full. Oh, and the catch, they all have to be the same sauce.

That’s a lot of appetizers.

While at the Milwaukee Custard, just off Ashburn Village Blvd. in Ashburn, VA, I noticed a sign:

Midget Pickles?

Shouldn’t that be Little People Pickles?