Avoid Divorce: Fifty Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Before you say, "I do," read Proverbs 5:1-23. Then together, discuss these questions with your pastor.

Couples that have followed the above instructions and discussed these fifty questions have not divorced! However, thirty percent have broken their engagements....

  1. How much have you talked about the issues which arise after marriage?
    ( Where are you at this point in the relationship? )
  2. Are you a Christian?
  3. Is there any impediment to this marriage?
    ( Divorce, pregnancy, etc.? If any, what has been done about it? )
  4. Do you understand Christian marriage?
    ( Ephesians 5; submission to each other? also Matthew 19:3-12; I Corinthians 7; I Peter 3:1-7. )
  5. What are your temperaments?
  6. Why do you want to get married?
  7. Do you like each other?
    ( It is assumed that you are in love. )
  8. What irritates you most in his (her) conduct?
  9. Are you gratified by each other's manners?
    ( Sloppy, eating, etc.? )
  10. Do you treat strangers better than you treat your family members?
  11. How do you treat your mother and father?
    ( Portent of the treatment of a spouse. )
  12. How do you like your prospective in-laws?
  13. Are you easily offended?
    ( Are you sensitive at slights? )
  14. Do you have a sense of humor?
  15. Do you believe anyone should help you financially?
  16. What is your attitude about the wife working outside the home?
  17. Who will handle the checkbook?
  18. Are you going to pool all your resources?
    ( Separate accounts suggest possible problems. )
  19. How generous are you?
  20. What is your plan for budgeting?
  21. What is your attitude toward debt?
  22. How will you handle reverses?
    ( Unemployment, debt, sickness, etc. )
  23. Where will you live?
    ( House/Apartment/Room and geography. )
  24. Do you know the difference between sex and love?
  25. What will you do when you discover one partner is more highly sexed than the other?
    ( Likely the difference will be serious. )
  26. What books have you read on the subject of sex? On marriage in general?
  27. What will you do when you discover that he (she) is romantically interested in another person?
  28. When do you plan to have a child? How many children?
  29. What is your feeling about birth control? Are you well-advised?
  30. Are you flexible?
  31. Do you have the same interests?
    ( Books, athletics, music, education? )
  32. What is your attitude toward household chores?
    ( Dishes, lawn, etc. )
  33. What does Joan expect of Bill?
    ( Unreal expectations cause trouble. )
  34. What does Bill expect of Joan?
  35. From Bill's viewpoint, what does Joan expect of him?
  36. From Joan's viewpoint, what does Bill expect of her?
  37. Do you identify one's success and/or failure as success and/or failure for both?
  38. How will you handle each other's contradictions?
  39. Do you believe in careful, sensitive listening?
  40. Do you believe in talking over matters and sharing in decision-making for the family?
  41. Do you believe in counselors to help you solve personal problems?
  42. What are your long-range goals? Short-range goals?
  43. When did you have a physical check-up? What were the results?
  44. Where do you plan to go to church?
  45. How will you treat your religious differences?
  46. Are you willing to leave each other to God?
  47. Do you understand that leadership, in the Biblical sense, is gentle, considerate and loving?
    ( How is this applied? )
  48. Do you recognize your equality before God and each other?
  49. Do your parents (and friends) favor this marriage?
  50. Have you made all the arrangements for the wedding?

ORIGINALLY APPEARING IN
CHRISTIAN LIFE		 SEPTEMBER 1979 QUESTIONS DEVELOPED BY DR. MARK W. LEE